she pickpockets steve’s cell on the regular and programs the phone numbers of strange women into his speed dial (steve presses  and panics when a sweet female voice answers, oh I was wondering when you would call! natasha’s told me so much about you!)
CAN WE TALK ABOUT MIDDLE EASTERN WITCHES AND WIZARDS THOUGH. AND HOW THEY'RE SPELLS WOULD OBVIOUSLY NOT BE LATIN, GREEK OR ANGLO SAXON, BUT INSTEAD LIKE ANCIENT PHOENICIAN, OR SOMETHING. AND THAT THEIR TIES BETWEEN SPELLS AND MAGIC WOULD BE STRONGER SINCE THEIR WORDS ARE MORE ANCIENT AND FAR OLDER SO THEY'D BE WAY MORE POWERFUL???? SORRY FOR THE CAPS?????
NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR CAPS. PHOENICIAN SPELLS. ARAMAIC SPELLS. LANGUAGES MUGGLES DON’T KNOW ANYMORE THAT HAVE BEEN PRESERVED THROUGH WIZARDING SPELLS IN LITTLE POCKETS OF THE WORLD. SOURCE LANGUAGES NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO ADAPT OR CHANGE ANYMORE BECAUSE THE LANGUAGES HAVE DIED AND PEOPLE ARE AFRAID TO CAUSE LIKE, A NUCLEAR FALLOUT. IM SO EXCITED THANKS FOR THIS.
Witches in secret pockets of Morocco who’ve been casting spells with ancient spices long before wands came about. Warlocks in Egypt who knew the double, magical, meaning behind hieroglyphics. A dead language? Latin and Ancient Greek have NOTHING on hieroglyphs. The veritable cacophany of ideas and spells and magic that the trading routes brought in. The Phoenecians with their many-striped sailboats proudly displayed Persian potion ingredients alongside spelled fishing nets woven by Palestinian wizards. Syrian magical folk meet Greek ones, and realize they can best communicate in the Ancient Greek all serious magical students learn. Curly heads bent over ancient spellbooks, and people stare as they converse in a language not spoken for hundreds of years.
Excuse you but can we not forget the jewish lore masters, poring over their tomes in hebrew and aramaic, preserved from their exiled homeland into the diaspora.
And the development of a syncretic magic in yiddish that mixes the subtle lore and subtle word power of the exiled levantines with the raw brute force of germanic magics. — how else did the golem?
DIASPORA SYNCRETIC MAGICS
jewish wizards offering house elves clothes in accordance with the slave laws
jewish wizards using golems as grunt labor
Yes to the Yiddish spells, too ;-)
Jewish wizards offering clothing to house elves and then constantly debating among themselves whether using a golem or other magically-created entity with some semblance of sentience for manual labor for years or decades is essentially the same thing as keeping a magical being for the same purpose.
See also: endless debates about whether one can use magic on Shabbat, and what sorts of magic qualify as “work”. Like, does it count if you enchant an object ahead of time?
Also debates over the extent to which Divination counts as the “witchcraft” detailed in the Tanach. Actually, I bet there’d be scholars compiling detailed tractates about which spells are kosher, using extensive biblical commentary.
JEWISH WIZARDS HAVING THEIR OWN EXTENDED TALMUD. HOW HAS THIS NEVER OCCURRED TO ME BEFORE??
Magic is a natural extension of the self; Therefore, one should be allowed to use magic on Shabbos. You might put restrictions on what kind of magic, and brewing potions (even ones that don’t require heat) and using wands…
I wrote a paper for a Harry Potter conference on foreign wizardry and how the systems of magic must have evolved to be completely separate entities that have very little in common. We’re only seen a TINY portion of the wizarding world and for the most part it’s Western European. I like to imagine Bill Weasley had to extensively train for cursebreaking in Egypt, because you can’t just waltz into a tomb, wave your wand, shout Latin and expect it to work.
I also love the idea of foreign magics being a bit wonky in a duel against each other because they’re not quite compatible. Like, it’s really hard to block a spell from a foreign wizard because you don’t understand exactly what you’re blocking against.
I don’t watch the show but I think Nick Fury just told Agent Coulson that he saved him using drastic measures because he’s an Avenger and I’m tempted to take it up again because his face has like eight different emotions in that last GIF.
The Obama administration is allowing millions of people to come in without the skills to compete in the marketplace.
Bill O’Reilly’s criticism of migrant children escaping the drug war by coming to the United States: No real-life job skills.
Unlike American children, of course. Our world-class educational system is renowned for endowing us with real-life job skills. By the time we’re 4 years old we’ve already mastered Excel and the Adobe suite, and by 7 or 8 we’re creating workflow processes within native content management systems. At 10, you’re developing cloud-based mobile software solutions. When I was 12 years old I spoke ten programming languages and was managing a team of more than 300 toddlers across our marketing, R&D, IT, and accounting departments. By 13, each and every American child has the skills to compete in the global job market.
Unlike those lazy migrant children, who only know how to take care of themselves on their own and seek better opportunities in another country.
Harry was the favorite kid and he wasn’t even an official part of the family
Because Molly knows exactly how the Dursleys treat him. There’s no way Ron wouldn’t tell her. And Molly Weasley is a Mother. She gets a capital M because she is goddamn phenomenal at what she does. When she hears Harry Potter is on the train to Hogwarts in Book 1, her reaction isn’t to be starstruck. It’s to say “that poor dear had to come here all on his own.” Molly Weasley loves harder than anyone. She loves like it’s her sole reason for being. And when she hears there’s a poor boy who has never known love his whole life… how could she not?
you put jelly on one side of the bread and peanut butter on the other. that’s an abomination and at least I know how to make a proper sandwich
How else would one make a pb&j? Like do you put them on the same slice of bread? I am so confused?
She should show us how to make one since she is just SOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!
OKAY KIDS RYAN’S GONNA SHOW YOU HOW TO MAKE A PB&J SANDWICH
first you need your two slices of bread but as opposed to putting the peanut butter on one side, like some kind of animal, you’re going to put it on both
next you can slap your jelly of choice on and spread that shit it
now you can put the bread together and bag the sandwich for a meal later on
by making the sandwich like this, it stops the jelly from seeping through one side of the bread and making it all soggy when you eat it. I had to pack my lunch through the majority of school and that means having the sandwich sit in a bag for a solid 5 hours before I get to eat it and if you only put the jelly on one side, it’s going to bleed through the bread and be nasty but the peanut butter creates a buffer so it’s in prime condition